September 16, 1978

Today is my 31st wedding anniversary! It is an accomplishement that even surprises me! But then being 50+ surprises me too!

I mean how the hell is a 20 and 21 year old suppose to know wtf they are doing? His mom and dad told him this was the next step and hey I was ready to leave a house that was crumbling with a really hot young man.

Marriage had been mostly broken in my life so it was not life time to me. I own mom and dad divorced and married twice! YEP they were double stupid or double hopeful...

My single mother was way ahead of her time! And at this time in her life 31 years ago she was dealing with her best friend and brother dieing of cancer. Her husband didnt live with her and they knew things were going sour; actually I think she knew that he had started drinking again.

Anyway in walks her youngest, who had never mentioned anything about getting married, telling her she was marrying the boy 2 doors down. That we would be leaving for our home in Idaho, ("where in the hell is Idaho, Jennifer") She had to stop what she was doing and help me throw together a wedding in less than 4 weeks! With new in-laws/neighbors that we had never liked LOL.

Her reply was, "Hell Jennifer just go live with him till Christmas and get it out of your system." I have often wondered what would've happened if I had done just that. At least gone off with him and stayed perhaps? But hadn't insisted on the wedding because his parents wouldnt have it any other way. hmmm,

Back later, gotta get ready for work...and then take this man of my life to get his first colonoscopy...Why he wants this I just dont know but here we go...

days should be like denim

I love days that are like denim. Like an old friend, there when you need to just feel like you. I hope this blog will be like a good pair of great jeans. A place to be me and define me. Stretch and wear till the soft cotton threads are visible.

See, at 51 I still don't really know what I want to be or do with my life. I mean there are lots of things that just make sense. The idea of hippie (not to be confused with liberal) is so appealing, Bohemian type. But then there is also a conformist screaming from with in when the items of a day are going in chaos.

Chaos is also going on in my body/mind. Menopause is doing weird things to me..hot flashes, frustrated, anger, no longer feel there is a reason to stay quiet about things that piss me off. OH no the yoga lady from with in says, "take a deep breath, accept the present moment, free the negativity".

So here I hope to learn and share ideas of things we are and things we wish we were and some how help them come together to make an individual. A unique tapestry ..